While the holidays can be filled with an abundance of joy, they can also be one of the most challenging times if you struggle with your relationship with food. Throughout the holiday season, you may be surrounded by different foods than you are typically exposed to and eating in settings outside of your day-to-day life.
By: Cait Berosh
Food neutrality is essential to remember during this time of year. It is the idea that foods are not “good” or “bad.” Instead, all foods provide nourishment. Thus, removing the morality that makes certain foods challenging, especially during the holidays. Although this might seem difficult, it is doable with a toolkit of skills to support you when these thought patterns emerge.
Check the Facts
A helpful tool when working on challenging food morality is checking the facts. This allows you to analyze your thoughts from a bird’s eye view. Gaining distance from the thought will help you to find the truth about foods rather than view foods through a lens of “good” and “bad.” Some questions to ask yourself are:
- What has happened when I have eaten this food in the past?
- How did I develop the morality I associate with this food?
- What are some ways this food benefits me? Does it give me energy, joy, or something else?
- How would eating or not eating this food affect my experience this holiday season?
Restructure Your Thoughts
Restructuring your thoughts to be more neutral is essential for removing and neutralizing your relationship with food. When restructuring your thoughts, ask yourself some of the following questions. Use these as guiding points to see how you could reframe a statement to remove the morality you have associated with food.
- What emotional words are in the thought I am having?
- Which words are extremes or exaggerations (such as “huge” or “always”)?
- What is “black or white” or “all or nothing” thinking?
Sometimes, responding to comments with a bit of humor can feel more authentic. If this is your style, utilize a funny comeback or remark to show your disapproval of the comment before pivoting the conversation.
Create a Mantra or Phrase
Create a few mantras or phrases you can utilize when thoughts about food morality pop up. This could sound like “holiday foods are one of the reasons I love the holidays” or “all foods are nourishing to my body.” Repeating this thought a few times can help you separate yourself from the emotions associated with food morality and allow you to enjoy the holiday season more easily.
Associate a Memory with the Food
Often holiday foods are rich with memories of experiences and people. Rather than focusing on the food’s perceived morality or various characteristics, shift your mindset to focus on a memory you associate with that food. This could look like when you made holiday cookies with your grandparents or were sipping hot cocoa with friends after sledding in the snow.
Challenge Other People’s Thoughts
During the holiday season, we may eat meals with others more often. When engaging with others during the holiday season, we may hear our friends or loved ones discuss food morality more frequently. It could be helpful to utilize one of the skills above to help reframe the thought your loved ones associated with the food they commented on. But another option is to change the topic or explicitly ask our loved ones not to discuss food from a place of morality.
Lastly, remember to give yourself grace. Diet culture and our social environment have conditioned us to view many foods as “good” or “bad.” Morality around food is a regular thought pattern, especially during the holiday season, but that doesn’t make it right. Utilize the skills above (or other skills that work for you) to slowly replace moral thoughts with thoughts of food neutrality to enjoy this holiday season more freely.
While the holidays are supposed to be a time of togetherness, tradition, and merriment, it can feel stressful and isolating for those with an eating disorder. Let BALANCE help you navigate the holidays and set the stage for lasting recovery. Our two-week winter intensive program can help you jump-start your recovery. Our exclusive winter eating disorder treatment program fits conveniently within your winter break schedule, allowing you to invest in transformative care. Connect with our admissions team and learn more about our two-week winter intensive program here.
This post was written by BALANCE Social Work Intern, Cait Berosh (she/her).
Cait is currently finishing her Master of Social Work at Columbia University and holds a B.S. in Nutrition from the University of Tennessee. Cait is passionate about helping individuals find their confidence and self-esteem to create a healthy relationship with their body, themselves, and others. Specifically, she aims to fight against diet culture and create spaces that are rooted in authenticity and community. Cait’s main goal in her work is to help others feel supported, seen, and validated in their experiences. After graduating this May, she plans to work with adolescent and young adult women, specifically concerning eating disorders, body image, life transitions, and self-esteem. Cait is excited to learn from the incredible team at BALANCE and support clients on their recovery journeys this year.
