A support system is vital to eating disorder recovery, especially around the holidays. If someone you love is struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder, your support can make all the difference. The holiday season is a wonderful time but can be full of anxiety triggers for people who experience food and body distress.
By: Alexandra Carter
Here are five ways to support a loved one to make this holiday season recovery-aligned.
No Food and Body Talk
This hopefully goes without saying, but commenting on another person’s food and body is never okay. Comments and conversations centered around food and bodies are harmful, not just to those struggling or in recovery, but to everyone. They perpetuate that there is a “right and wrong” and a “good or bad” way to eat and look.
So, as a general rule, avoid all body and food-related comments about yourself, your loved one, and everyone else. Instead, focus on experience and accomplishment-related comments, and turn the attention away from food and physicality.
Additionally, stay away from any gifts that include food or clothing. Find other ways to connect with your loved one.
Educate Yourself
Loving and supporting someone struggling with food and body can feel daunting, but one of the best ways to show them you are with them is to educate yourself. Do not lean on them to better understand what they are going through. Listen when they share, but take the extra time to learn beyond what they tell you.
Melissa A. Fabello, in an article for Everyday Feminism, explains that “your loved one does not have to be your first point of contact for information on what it’s like to experience an eating disorder – or recover.” Do your due diligence. There are endless books, websites, and podcasts to refer to. A great place to start is the National Eating Disorder Association’s website Remember, learning about your loved one’s eating disorder will help you better support them and show them that you are invested in their well-being.
Practice Good Communication
Good communication is critical to helping a loved one recover during the holiday season (and always). Be present in your loved one’s life, but do not be an added pressure to them. Successful communication comes from understanding, empathy, and mutual respect.
Often, this also means planning ahead of time. The holidays can create a lot of stress and isolation for someone struggling with an eating disorder or navigating recovery. Talk with your loved ones beforehand to show them you are in their corner and to make a plan for how to support them best. Whatever plans you put in place, ensure you honor them when it comes time.
Above all, good communication means validating and honoring your loved one’s experience. Allow them to guide you with what they need and when they need it. Simply being there for them is extremely powerful.
Focus on Quality Time
For someone recovering, the holiday focus on food can be challenging. Support them this year by ensuring the focus of your celebrations is not food but instead on connection and quality time together. Allowing for other, non-food related activities can remind your loved one that they are more than their eating disorder and that you value them for who they are and the time you spend together.
Some non-food-related holiday activities are games, carols, decorating, looking at light displays, seeing holiday shows or movies, gift-giving, and so much more. Shifting the focus from food during the holidays allows you and your loved ones to find deeper meaning and connection while still honoring the celebration.
Remember Your Self-Care
You know the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” well, cliche as it may be, it’s true. Being there to support someone struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder is essential. Your loved one is lucky to have you, but to show up for them authentically and beneficially, you must also show up for yourself. Make sure that they have the support they need and that you have the help you need. Everyone needs support, even support systems.
The holidays are a time for connection, celebration, and love. Although someone in eating disorder recovery may find the holidays difficult, having the support of friends, family, and loved ones is incredibly helpful. Although it can seem daunting, supporting someone in recovery is about respecting and showing up for them. Follow the tips in this post, and don’t be afraid to ask your loved one what they need. Take it one moment at a time and show up with love and compassion.
It is also important to remember that you are not alone in supporting your loved one. Support can come from friends, family, and a treatment team. If you are interested in giving or getting more support for your loved one during the holidays, check out BALANCE’s exclusive Winter Program. This 12-day intensive program will help jumpstart recovery while fitting conveniently into a winter break schedule. Connect with our Admissions team to learn more.
Our admissions team would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our programs and services. Book a free consultation call with our admissions team below, or read more about our philosophy here.
This post was written by Intuitive Eating | HAES Content Creator, Alexandra Carter (she/her).
Alexandra Carter is a professional actor, turned certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and Health and Wellbeing Coach, turned Content Creator. After moving to NYC for her undergraduate degree in Musical Theater, Alexandra spent 10 years working all over the world as an actor/singer/dancer. Through her own healing journey, Alexandra found her way to the anti-diet space and went on to gain coaching and counseling certifications, in addition to starting her own coaching business. It was there she fell in love with content creation as a way of sharing ideas, genuinely connecting with people, and affecting powerful change. Alexandra is thrilled to be on the team at BALANCE, combining all her skills and passions to foster authentic healing.
References
Fabello, M. A. (2014, November 20). 5 ways to support a loved one in eating disorder recovery over the holidays. Everyday Feminism. Retrieved November 30, 2022, from https://everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/support-ed-recovery-holiday-season/
Eating disorders & the holidays: 5 support tips: Walden. Walden Eating Disorders. (2022, June 8). Retrieved November 30, 2022, from https://www.waldeneatingdisorders.com/blog/eating-disorders-the-holidays-5-tips-to-support-your-loved-one/
Fatherly, Magazine, D., News, F. 45, Outloud, B., Young, M., Magazine, B., OUTloud, B., Hope, E. D., Report, U. S. N. & W., The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt, Editorial, Today, S. W., WUSA9, Daily, E., KSL.com, & Wrvo. (2022, October 27). Eating disorder recovery during the holidays. Sheppard Pratt. Retrieved November 30, 2022, from https://www.sheppardpratt.org/inspire/story/eating-disorder-recovery-during-the-holidays/
