This time of year brings a lot of connecting and reconnecting with friends and loved ones. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for this season’s quality time to come with uncalled-for food and body comments. Regardless of where you are in your recovery journey, these comments can be highly triggering and may bring many overwhelming emotions to the surface, often during moments intended to be celebratory.
By: Hannah Duke
So, here are some tips to aid you in preparing for and coping with unwanted body-related comments this holiday season (and every season after!).
Tip 1: Plan Ahead
Because of society’s widespread acceptance of diet culture, fatphobic or body-shaming comments are the reality, even from those closest to you. One fundamental way to plan for these moments is to have a support system. Connect to people who are in the loop about your recovery and will be there for you if a negative or triggering comment occurs. Your support system can include anyone from your treatment team, to your friends, to another family member at the event—anyone who will provide encouragement and validation should you need support.
Tip 2: Set Boundaries
Depending on the environment, creating and establishing boundaries can be incredibly helpful. If you feel comfortable, this is the perfect time to provide your family and friends with some education about diet culture and fatphobia. You can advocate for your needs in a way that could lead to long-term change for everyone involved. If this sounds too formidable, consider making a list of triggering comments or topics. You can share those topics as things to try to avoid during a conversation. That way, you have been entirely transparent about what could bother you, and everyone knows the boundaries you’ve set to support yourself.
Tip 3: Change the Subject
Take the conversation into your own hands! This can be a great way to take your power back and use your voice, even when it’s complicated. Try not to get preoccupied with the “how” or “why;” your relatives will get the picture. For instance, if someone chimes in about how your body looks in your outfit, you can change the subject to a topic you’re genuinely interested in and want to discuss. It can be helpful to prepare alternate topics, like a movie you recently saw or a podcast you listened to, before being confronted with body comments. That way, you don’t have to wonder what to say during that stressful moment.
Tip 4: Excuse Yourself
Sometimes, all the preparation, boundary setting, and subject-changing in the world will not stop your family and friends from continuing to make ignorant comments about your body. If someone is not respecting your boundaries, you can take some space. Use coping skills such as grounding exercises or positive distractions to get in touch with what matters to you and recenter yourself in your recovery.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues.
While the holidays are supposed to be a time of togetherness, tradition, and merriment, it can feel stressful and isolating for those with an eating disorder. Let BALANCE help you navigate the holidays and set the stage for lasting recovery. Our 12-day winter intensive program can help you jump-start your recovery. Our exclusive winter eating disorder treatment program fits conveniently within your winter break schedule, allowing you to invest in transformative care. Connect with our admissions team and learn more about our 12-day winter intensive program here.
Looking for eating disorder treatment programs or services in the New York City area? Learn more about our options at BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™ here or contact us here.
This post was written by BALANCE Social Work Intern, Hannah Duke (she/her).
Hannah Duke is a Graduate Clinical Intern at BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™. Hannah graduated from New York University, where she studied psychology, media studies, and creative writing. She is currently on track to obtain her MSW at NYU’s Silver School of Social Work in the Spring of 2023, where she previously worked with substance use disorders. Hannah is passionate about working with individuals who struggle with eating disorders and utilizes a HAES, anti-diet culture approach. She is also a registered yoga teacher and believes strongly in the power of mindfulness and community as invaluable tools in recovery.
