Instead of dedicating energy to satisfying your eating disorder, redirect it towards showing yourself kindness and compassion. Loving yourself can seem like a distant destination, but it is a feasible goal.
By: Samreen Khan
Loving yourself does not have to constitute a radical change – it can start as small as finding the most minute details you like about yourself. Progress can begin at any point, no matter how trivial it may seem. What are you proud of? What are you good at? Consider your favorite things about your friends and family, and shift that perspective onto yourself. Do you share any similar traits? It may even be helpful to be straightforward and ask your loved ones what their favorite thing about you is.
Remember that harmful self-talk fuels a poor self-image. Our minds are easily manipulated. When we continuously repeat something, it slowly begins to become our truth. Self-deprecation is a habit many people have built up over time, and it may be such an instinctual thing that you do not even realize when speaking about yourself negatively. It is easy to deflect compliments because you do not feel like you deserve them or immediately beat yourself up when something goes wrong. But next time you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, consider its impact on your life. Is it effective as a coping mechanism – does it help you in any way? Or is it a comfortable habit to fall into when things do not work out?
As you work to unlearn self-deprecating inner monologues, embrace newer, kinder ways to think of yourself. When others compliment you, accept their kindness! Show yourself the same compassion and kindness you would show to someone you care about.
Being kind to yourself also means making an active effort to take care of yourself. Make sure you are feeding yourself well and nourishing your body. Self-care means different things for different people; sometimes, it can be as simple as taking a shower or washing your face. For others, it could mean taking a few hours to relax or trying a new skincare routine. Either way, show yourself compassion by physically taking care of your body.
And still, self-love is not just about your body. However, many people confuse loving yourself with loving your body. Loving your body can be challenging during eating disorder recovery as your body changes and grows in many different ways. Truthfully, you can foster self-love even if you don’t love your body. Working towards viewing your body more neutrally makes it easier to value yourself as a person as you learn to look beyond your appearance. In turn, learning to appreciate parts of yourself unrelated to your appearance will make it easier to develop a body-neutral mindset.
Above all, allow yourself to feel your feelings. It can be tempting to suppress your emotions, especially when you have been using your eating disorder to “numb out” and ignore underlying stressors. But an integral part of recovery is learning to embrace these feelings instead. Think of yourself as you would think of a loved one – if someone you cared about was going through a difficult time, would you encourage them to hide their feelings and go about their day? Or would you offer them space to find comfort and solace? Show yourself the same compassion you would show them. Know that you deserve that space to feel and work through your emotions, alone or with a trusted companion.
Building self-love does not equate to being constantly positive, and it does not even mean always being content with yourself. Loving yourself means accepting that you are human and not perfect – knowing that none of these things make you any less worthy of being treated with kindness.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues.
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This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a high school graduate with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!
