Having a support system is essential to navigating eating disorder recovery. Beyond family members and treatment teams, friends can play an important role during recovery. Not only can they give immediate support, but they can also provide a type of support that no one else can. By being nonjudgmental, empathetic, and trustworthy, a friend can greatly aid in a person’s progress in recovery.
By: Irene Zheng
With the start of a new school year, many students are reconnecting with their close friends after the summer. This often means more opportunities to hang out and, of course, eat together. For those in eating disorder recovery, sharing a meal or a snack with other people can be stressful, especially without their clinical care team on hand. Therefore, having a few friends as a part of the support system can be very beneficial for recovery. Below are some tips to help you better support a friend that is recovering from an eating disorder.
#1: Be a Kind and Nonjudgmental Listener
A friend is someone we not only spend time with, but someone we share all our thoughts and stories with. Whether during lunchtime or over phone calls, we share our daily lives with our friends. Though this might vary, many people are willing to share deep personal concerns and struggles with their friends. Therefore, it is not surprising for a person recovering from an eating disorder to turn to their friends for help and support when struggling. If a friend confides in you, at first, it might feel overwhelming or unexpected. Nevertheless, it is important to listen and be compassionate towards your friend. Hold space for their experience and show them that no matter what, you are by their side.
#2: Do Not Make Assumptions
It is natural to make quick assumptions when we are trying to understand new information. Especially with eating disorders, it is common to base your understanding on assumptions or partial information. For example, if a friend told you that they are struggling with food restriction, you might assume that they are avoiding or eliminating sweets and desserts. However, food restriction can involve a wide range of foods and looks different for each person. So, before making assumptions and jumping to quick conclusions, you should always listen completely and without judgment to better understand your friend’s needs.
#3: Demonstrate Empathy
Empathy is formally defined as “the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another person.1” In other words, when a friend confides in you about their eating disorder struggles or recovery, being empathetic means you try to step into their shoes and examine the issue from their perspective. It is crucial to practice being empathetic. Divulging something as serious as an eating disorder takes a lot of courage. Your understanding could significantly increase your friend’s confidence, motivation, and hope during recovery.
#4: Do Not Share Information Without Permission
We choose to confide in our friends because we trust them. Trust is a mutual agreement where both sides believe that the other is reliable and that the bond is reciprocated. Therefore, any conversations about eating disorder struggles or recovery between you and your friends must be kept confidential. This sensitive and highly personal information should be kept between the two of you. The only time you can seek outside support without permission is if you are concerned about self-harm or harming other people.
#5: Do Not Give Commands
Once you are aware of a friend’s eating disorder, it is tempting to want to give suggestions, advice, or opinions. Though your intentions might be heartfelt, this personal advice can backfire. Leave the advice-giving to your friend’s support team. The best thing you can do is listen, empathize, and show up for your friend without judgment. During eating disorder recovery, a good friend can play a vital role in providing help and support along the journey. Although you may feel anxious, nervous, or confused, by following the tips above, you can maximize your support and maintain a solid friendship throughout the recovery process.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™ our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating behaviors and body image issues. BALANCE offers a bi-monthly free virtual support group that is open to individuals seeking help and to family and loved ones. The group provides a supportive forum within which members can explore issues including ambivalence about engaging in treatment, recovery, resources, and treatment options and knowing when and how to take the next steps towards making change. RSVP for our next group on Friday, August 26th at 12:00 pm EST here.
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Looking for eating disorder treatment programs or services in the New York City area? Learn more about our options at BALANCE eating disorder treatment center here or contact us here.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Irene Zheng (she/her).
Irene Zheng is a rising senior at Carmel High School in Carmel, Indiana. Irene loves listening to k-pop music, baking, and playing the flute during her free time. Irene is the co-president of the Active Minds club at school and helps raise awareness and break the stigma on mental health. Due to Irene’s personal experience with an eating disorder, she wishes to major in psychology and/or nutritional science in college. Her dream job is to become a therapist that specifically treats eating disorders. Irene is excited to write for the BALANCE blog and educate more people about eating disorders!
Reference
Sussex Publishers. (n.d.). Empathy. Psychology Today. Retrieved August 7, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/empathy
